Sex Sells #9: Holy Subliminal Phallus, Batman!

What you see above is a textbook example of vintage phallic innuendo. This woman is about to perform fellatio on that lipstick, no question about it. You simply can't look at this ad and not think "blow job".  I know what Freud says: "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." But you don't need to be a psychiatrist to know there's something a little dirty going on between the lines. Is it deliberate psychological manipulation? Probably. But, really, what ad doesn't contain some sort of subliminal message?

The image above is extremely phallic, but it doesn't do a good job at keeping the naughty imagery at the subliminal level. Ideally, your conscious brain perceives an "innocent" image, but your subconscious mind recognizes the symbolism. The subconscious mind then will associate this is a desirable product without your conscious mind ever processing a thought!

Thus a spurious association is made between the product and sex, often without you ever realizing it. This tactic isn't just employed by consumer products, either. Album covers and movie posters (which, in fact, are forms of advertising) are also notorious offenders.

So, peruse my little gallery of vintage phallic innuendo. But don't blame me if you suddenly find yourself wanting products you never thought you'd care for. Blame the subliminal dick.

image source: SA Steve

Mini Skirt Monday #27: A Time Before the Turbulence

In 1971, the National Organization for Women (NOW) picketed in protest against the airlines calling them "sexist and degrading to women" for their use of stewardesses as sex objects. In particular, they focused on the National Airlines with their "Fly Me" slogan.  The NOW protesters demanded men to be portrayed in the advertising too.

Meanwhile, the girl in the infamous "I'm Cheryl. Fly Me" ad, Cheryl Fioravanti, didn't feel the same way. She had been a stewardess for 22 years, and loved every minute of it. Unfortunately, her response only fueled the fire of the NOW protesters: "I'm afraid I don't agree with the women's liberation very much. I don't think that household chores should be shared. I like to be in the kitchen and I like to have Gene in charge of paying the bills."

Needless to say, the "groovy age of travel" was coming to an end. The use of sexy stewardesses as a way to sell airline tickets had a few more years left, but the clock was now ticking. NOW had found a target, and by mid-decade it was clear that this sort of thing had run its course.  Like it or not, that's how it went down.

But don't think we lost the sexy stewardess all because of NOW - they may have started the fire, but other factors poured on the gasoline. For example, travelers on airplanes by the mid-1970's weren't just males; women and families started to take up a significant portion of the market. The "I'm Cheryl. Fly Me" marketing approach wasn't going to work too well with career women or moms and dads traveling with kids. The sky was not longer an exclusive gentlemen's club - it was now open to everybody.

Another factor was that a lot of these airlines simply were going bankrupt. They suffered from poor labor relations, intransagent management, and high debt burdens.  The ones remaining had to cut costs at almost every level. Thus, the days of cocktails, swank decor, and Halston designed uniforms became ancient history. 

Add to this mess the increase in hi-jacking and crashes, and it became very obvious, airlines could no longer afford to be mile high Playboy Clubs.  They had to be taken seriously.

Thankfully, the pictures and the ads from the groovy age of travel still remain. So, let's take a look at some images of a time before all this "turbulence". Enjoy!

Pacific Southwest Airlines ticket jackets

Gastroabominations #4: The 1950's - The Meat Decade

image source: Mrs Bluesky

Browse through any cookbook or women's interest magazine from the 1950's and you will get bombarded by meat. Every recipe reads like this: Braise 10 pounds of pork roast with a teaspoon of gelatin, garnish with a sprig of broccolli.... and, presto, you're done! The four food groups of the 50's were: pork, beef, poultry and Spam. 

Fact: Most people on planet Earth have a staple food of either rice, wheat, maize (corn), millet, or tubers (potatoes).

Fact: In the 1950's, the American staple food was bacon.

I'm guessing they thought fruits and vegetables were for Commies, because there was precious little in their recipes. Usually they served simply as ornaments, meant to be looked at but never, NEVER, eaten. Other than meat, it was acceptable to consume large quantities of gelatin (fittingly, an animal by product).

Let's take a brief stroll throught the Meat Decade, shall we?

The Golden Age of the Playboy Club

I don't think that most people today realize the extent of the success of the Playboy Club in the 1960's and early 70's. In 1961, The Playboy Club was the busiest night club in the world. The Chicago club alone brought in around 132,000 customers in 3 months. Famous entertainers like Bob Hope, Ray Charles, Steve Allen, Ann-Margret, and Dizzy Gillespie performed at Playboy Clubs from New York to Manila, London, Tokyo to the Bahamas.

And these weren't sleazy strip clubs. The Playboy Clubs were classy, cool and hip. In Diamonds Are Forever, we learn that James Bond is a member. It became a status symbol to be a "Keyholder" for 25 bucks a year. To give you an idea of how "unsleazy" Playboy's reputation was at the time, Hefner had a television show called Playboy's Penthouse.... this at a time when networks would never dream of putting Ward and June Cleaver in the same bed! Indeed, these were places you could take your wife and not feel awkward - they were tasteful and swank.

Of course, the main attraction were the Bunnies. Inspired by the Chicago's Gas Light Clubs of the 1950's, Hefner had his hostesses wear similar outfits the Gas Light Girls, and the rest is history. Here's a pic of the Gas Light in its prime..

At one time there were 25,000 Bunnies and over a million Keyholders! And the revenue kept pouring in - soon, The Playboy Casinos became the primary source of income for the Playboy empire. In fact, the 45 Park Lane Playboy Casino was the most successful casino in the world at one time.

All good things must come to an end, however. Playboy lost its gambling license, which killed a huge source of profits. Other factors included a general decline in nightclub attendance and the meteoric rise in feminism put the final nail in the coffin.

There's a new Playboy Club at the Palms in Vegas. However, it's got a long, long way to go to recapture the  hip reputation and global success which it once enjoyed. So, let's relive the past a little and take a look at a few pictures from when The Playboy Club was king.  I'd be interested to read comments from anyone lucky enough to have visited the club in its heyday.

A Comic Education: Hooked!

In the 1960's and 70's there were a lot of comic books that preached a message. Many of you may remember the Evangelical Archie comics back in the day. My favorites, however, were the anti-drug comic books. Why? Because they were so hardcore - when they showed what happens when you take illegal drugs, they went all out! Not just an arrest or losing a job, no sir, that was too tame.  I'm talkin' horrific deaths! I'm talkin lives spiralling madly out of control, culminating in tragedies of Shakespearian proportions!  Go ahead and read your little Captain Marvel comics - that's child's play. I'm reading anti-drug comics!

Retro Fail #7: Awful Band Names

Okay, you're a hippie band putting out peace and love songs like "Stop Fightin', Start Lovin'". While the government and "The Man" are all about war and rules, you're all about peace and freedom. So, the question now is, what should you call your band? Maybe, something with a veiled drug reference like The Raspberry Mushrooms. Or, how about something that makes a statement like The Now Generation?

Nope. These guys name themselves after something that is abhorrent to all hippies - The Establishment! They may as well have called themselves The Elderly Warmongers.

The Tennessee Tacos  have a really bad name. Maybe you've heard the sexual slang "Dirty Sanchez"; well, there's also something called the "Tennessee Taco Swap" (I'll let you do the research on that one yourself). They may as well be called the Cincinatti Bow Ties (you can look that one up too).

Plus, these chicks aren't even The Tennessee Tacos, just cover models who are a lot more attractive than the real band (probably middle aged Mexicans).  They don't look like they've come from south of the border - indeed, one is even a redhead!

If you feel like punishing yourself for something horrible you've done in the past, I recommend you listen to one of their songs. No matter what you've done, this will more than make up for it. (vinyl source: Vinyl Room)

And my last entry needs no explanation. I give you the Kuntz Brothers....

Retro Fail #6: Bad, Bad Fashion

I just have to wonder, were these things ever worn? Anyone have a recollection of seeing someone at the local Safeway sporting a pair of flaired Budweiser pants? I do seem to recall a lot of turtlenecks, crochet sweaters and corduroys - the halls of my school were a buzz with the squeeking of fresh cords upon returning from Christmas break (with time and wear, the sound would dull to a soft rustle).

Then there's the infamous plaid leisure suit - standard issue uniform for the neighbor's key party. By the late 70's, they were already a subject of ridicule (i.e. Herb Tarlek on WKRP and Mr. Furley on Three's Company). Not so in the early part of the decade. I think every boy in my First Communion class was wearing one on the big day.

What kind of shoes go best with a Cool Blue and Sunshine Yellow Polyester Knit Coordinate? There's no right answer to this question.

 

I think a little explanation is in order for this next picture.  In the early 70's, low riding hip huggers and sleek tight fitting shirts were all the rage.  A body suit worked perfectly for this slim fitting fashion - no more bunched up, untucked sloppy shirt tails. Plus, the pants were so low, you really had no where to tuck in a shirt!

Flash forward to 1976 where the pants are so high waisted, the body suit should have become obsolete.  Should have. These blousy tops have no business being in unitard form! Which begs the question, why are they still around? Going to the bathroom in one of these was..... complicated.

Can you say "color coordinated"? Blue and blue, green and green, brown and brown.... even the belts.  And check out Mr. Blue - is this a wetsuit? This is form fitting at its finest. You could swim in this, with no resistance whatsoever. It's so sleek, you could outswim Michael Phelps in this suit.

Take note of the text below the letter "E": I'm glad to see you can get the "Foxy" shirt in the Chubby sizes. It wouldn't be right to discriminate. However, it will cost you an extra buck fifty.